Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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