my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
