im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize