I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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