I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
