No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
