Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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