So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
