so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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