I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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