Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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