i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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