sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize