You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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