lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
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I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Shame is for Republicans.
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