I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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