Capitaan dildo arrescate!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize