So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
