sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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