i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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