Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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