Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
