You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
