So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
