Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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