Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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