I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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