Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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