gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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