So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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