Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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