That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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