things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
