are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
