forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
