never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
