SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
