This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
