Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
