we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
