sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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