Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
