we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
