You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
