Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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