it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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