yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
