i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
