her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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