What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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