I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
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imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
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Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
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