You really coming over, don't trick.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
