So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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