Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
