I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
