My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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