I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
