I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
