just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize