Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
