Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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