i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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