Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
