Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
